based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
