dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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