ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
