I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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