wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
