i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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