she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
false alarm. still invincible.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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