Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
