Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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