I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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