Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
