Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
