we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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