I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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