me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
