He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
