she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?