omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
its not stalking. its research.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.