And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
