yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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