What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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