Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
