So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
