I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
