I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
