Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
