Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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