um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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