There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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