I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
