i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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