She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
