I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
