New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
