Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
