Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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