are you still at the devil's house?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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