i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
PANTIES FOUND
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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