I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
