**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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