This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This is my gift to your gina
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
