he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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