So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize