what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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