Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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