you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
