is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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