i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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