just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
