i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
