dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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