I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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