the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have feelings that need drinking.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
