At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the condom got lost in my hair
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
