sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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