dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Let's get the cat blown out
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Never joke about your clitoris.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
