just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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