Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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