I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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