I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize