Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
