I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
