Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
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Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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