I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
