if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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